[ Being used, being useful, being helpful, all those things are so muddled in Natsuo's head, who confuses one for the others because being used means he's useful and being helpful makes him incredibly happy. Even though he's done things he hated or were dangerous or scary, he'd never felt forced into those situations- he agreed because he wanted to be useful. He did it because he wanted somebody to pat him on the head, to smile at him, to tell him "good job."

It feels like he will never get to experience any of that ever again. He reaches for Ion's hand, uncertain, and stops himself before actually touching. ]

Me too. I love seeing you smile- I love seeing everybody's smiles. It makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing. But for me... I don't know if I can smile anymore.