Week 5, Wednesday - Akechi

[fragileprophet]

[Akechi will find Ion staring at a suit of armor. It's pretty clear what he's looking at: in place of its normal visor, a sharply-pointed red and gold one has been put in its place. For some reason, Ion looks...unsettled.]

...do you see that?

[It's just his imagination, isn't it? This isn't here. It can't be.]

Comments

[doublecrows]

[it's so much to take in at once]

[Akechi finds himself instinctively bucking against those emotions. they aren't foreign-- loneliness, heartache, sorrow-- but oh, how he wishes they were. by now, he knows exactly how to lash back against those feelings. he knows how to defend himself]

[and that is with bitterness and anger]

[he hisses and jerks back, the visor clattering onto the ground at his feet. he'd say something, he'd shout and yell and cry out angrily that everything about Ion's life is bullshit, but]

[well]

[there's another memory]

[it lasts all the way until 5:10]

[fragileprophet]

[Even after the memory fades--both memories--Ion can still see death flashing before his eyes. Sync dropping himself off of a precipice, that black-haired boy with a gun to his head. Those feelings...what were they? That wasn't real self-righteousness, was it? It could't have been.

Ion staggers as if he's been winded, bringing his hands to cover his eyes.]

[doublecrows]

[Akechi staggers as well, one hand pressed against his face, eyes peeking out from between his fingers. there's something. . . wild about his expression, but not in an angry way]

[in a way that's almost. . . scared? how will Ion, giving and caring and selfless Ion, who called himself Akechi's friend despite knowing exactly what kind of person he is, react to a memory like that?]

[he almost doesn't want to stick around to find out]

[but his feet are rooted to the spot, even if every inch of him is screaming]

[fragileprophet]

[Ion wobbles, threatening to fall, but manages to catch himself against the wall, sliding halfway down against it. His mind races, he's not sure what to stop on, where to start. He's seen people die. He's seen horrors, war, death here and back home on Auldrant. But he's never been like this--felt as if he was stuck in the driver's seat.

He feels ill.

And when he speaks--without thinking, it's such a baffling to say. And yet, it's so typical Ion.]

I'm so sorry--that was a horrible breach of your privacy.

[doublecrows]

[. . . what?]

[why is that. . . the first thing out of his mouth? it should be expected, but Akechi feels bewildered nonetheless. his shoulders are stiff as he stares at Ion with a mixture of fear and bemusement, hand still pressed against his face]

Was it not a breach of your privacy on my part as well?

[fragileprophet]

I don’t think that how I feel matters.

[The self-deprecating honest is stated as such a simple fact. Like it’s nothing relevant. Nothing surprising.]

I...

[There’s a knot in his throat that’s hard to speak around.]

I’m just trying to understand.

[doublecrows]

[his eyes slip shut, brows furrowed, mouth curled back into a sneer]

What is there not to understand?

[he says, words clipped. he's closing off. of course he is; Ion's disappointment. . . is disappointment he doesn't want to see. and so, he lashes out first]

I killed someone. I killed someone and I enjoyed it. Is that not who I am?

[fragileprophet]

[It's almost pitiful the way that Ion looks up at Akechi. It's not exactly disappointment so much as something small and young and pleading.]

No...enjoyment? I don't think so. You're more than that.

[doublecrows]

[he doesn't know how to feel about it. it's a look that cuts right through him, flays him straight to the bone]

No. That's bullshit. It's who-- who I am. Who I'll always be. Why don't you understand?

[fragileprophet]

I can't--I can't! I'm only...

[Only two years old. He said so, said so in his wish. It's just so much to take in.]

I can't believe that you would enjoy taking anyone's life. What you want...it's something more than that, isn't it? What you'd sacrifice such a thing for, it must mean so much to you.

[doublecrows]

[hrrrrgh]

[Ion hits the nail on the head, more firmly than Akechi is willing to admit. he curls his fingers into his bangs, tugging on them as he shuts his eyes, expression still contorted]

It-- [it's worth it. it's been worth it since the beginning] It. . . does mean something to me.

[fragileprophet]

[Ion starts to feel himself steady. There are still so many uncertainties, so many questions...but he has his beliefs in his friends, and he intends to keep them close.]

I couldn't...lie to you, and tell you that I'm willing to accept what I just saw, but if you tried to tell me that that was nothing more than murder for the sake of cold-heartedness, I'd only call you a liar, too.

[This is probably the most heated he's felt since his last conversation to Sandalphon, so he has to take another breath.]

You're an ambitious person. You told me yourself...you have a story to get back to, and to keep telling. He got in your way and you felt threatened...is that what happened?

[doublecrows]

[god damn it]

. . . yes.

[Kurusu had always been nothing but an obstacle. his brand of justice clashed so brilliantly with Akechi's that he had to be removed from the equation. he knew that long before Shido made the call to take him out]

[and yet. . .]

I don't kill because I enjoy it.

[ah. going back on what he said earlier, it seems. something more honest. only because it's Ion]

I never have.

[fragileprophet]

[A tense breath escapes, and Ion closes his eyes. Thank Goodness.]

Thank you. I know that was probably hard for you to admit.

[But it's a good thing. It's a good thing.]

I'm sure that it hurts, to live with the actions you aren't proud of.

[doublecrows]

[they're talking about Akechi again. despite what he saw, despite how Ion had to watch one of his replicas plummet to his death, they're talking about Akechi]

[he clenches his hands into fists and loosens them again]

I've stopped feeling anything remotely resembling guilt.

[there are some crimes he doesn't feel bad for. people he's killed that he believed deserved it. and he still doesn't feel torn up about Soo-Won. . . sacrifices had to be made in this game, right?]

I'm detached. [ah] I simply do what I must do, in order to achieve what it is I need to achieve.