Week 2, Saturday Post-Trial - Stephanie

[fragileprophet]

[So, Ion's just hanging out in his empty dorm room. He doesn't necessarily feel like talking after what happened today, but...still, anytime anyone approaches his door (he kept it open, expecting the company) he turns toward it with a smile. As miserable as he feels, he can't be disappointed to see any of his friends.]

Hello.

[Ah, he wonders if he's about to hear some kind of lecture. He knows he really worried people today.]

I'm sorry about today.

Comments

[vigilantics]

No, that was... what I more or less expected, anyway.

[ she knew there would be a Lot, but seeing all of his injuries broadcasted like that in front of everyone was a different kind of a lot. ]

[fragileprophet]

I really...never meant to lie.

[It's just hard. This is so hard for him.]

There are things I haven't told you--that make it hard to stop. But there are other healers, and one of them found me after what I did on Tuesday.

[He closes his eyes.]

Things are different now. But...I haven't been trustworthy, so I understand if you don't believe me.

[vigilantics]

...

[ well, she can understand him not giving her all of the details. that's just how things work in this game, isn't it. ]

Do they have the same stipulations as you do?

[fragileprophet]

No, but it seems that this healer can't heal things flawlessly--that's why I had those scars.

[Fuck this game. Ion' not gonna say it but I will say it in meta for him.]

[vigilantics]

... yeah, that makes sense.

What is with these powers?

[fragileprophet]

[Ion shakes his head.]

I have no idea. So many of them are unspeakably cruel.

[vigilantics]

...

Just... please be careful, okay?

[fragileprophet]

Yes, I will.

[Assuming he makes it through tomorrow. He's not sure how much hope he even has that things are going to work out the way Sandalphon was hoping. He takes a deep breath?]

Can I tell you something? I was...forced to admit this to myself, but I think the only way I can keep myself from forgetting is if I have others to remind me.

[vigilantics]

[ stephanie is trying very hard not to think of sandalphon's plan not working. she probably shouldn't be putting too much hope onto a maybe, but she does not want ion to die. ]

Yeah, of course.

[fragileprophet]

...I don't want to die.

[Everything that he's been saying suggests the contrary. Everything that he's been doing. It still feels so hard to say. It makes him want to cry.]

[vigilantics]

[ she wasn't expecting him to say that. there have been a lot of confessions happening here since they've arrived. confessions of titles, of murder-- who knows what else. and while all of this has been hard, stephanie has managed to not shed any tears over it.

until now. she's crying, and before she even realizes that fact, she is practically tossing her makeshift crutches aside to close the distance between them and hug him. ]

[fragileprophet]

[It's so hard. It's so hard to finally figure this out to be unsure if he has any time left at all. It's so hard to be able to do anything with what he's been given and keep himself alive. He feels like he has to do this for other people, not just for himself, but what's right and what's just foolish keeps muddling in his head.

Ion flinches at the sound of her crutches falling, but he didn't realize just how badly he needed a hug until it happens so as soon as he arms are around him he melts into her embrace, shaking, his heart pounding.]

I'm so sorry. I'm just so scared.

[vigilantics]

[ she's definitely not going to be letting go any time soon. ]

We have to believe in him, okay? It's--- it's hard, I know, but I'm not going to let you go.

[ she knows that's a large thing to promise. others probably have to. sandalphon did. ]

[fragileprophet]

[Hiding his face against her, Ion nods. His legs coil underneath himself, and he looks and feels just so impossibly small.]

I couldn't even see it until I thought that I...

[Until he thought that he really was going to die. Until he was faced with the fact that this could be the last night he spends alive.]

[vigilantics]

No one really knows how they'll feel about something until it happens, Ion. Being alive is big and complicated, and sometimes you don't know what your heart wants until it's slipping from your fingers.

[ that's what life is. a series of twists and turns that are unpredictable to everyone, but especially to yourself. and the situation they're in just makes that worse. ]

[fragileprophet]

It...it isn't fair.

[His voice is small, the observation of a child, not the Fon Master. He knows, has always known, that life isn't fair. It isn't fair, but he wants it anyway. Even if things are cruel, he wants it. But why...why something like this? Something so absolutely final?]

[vigilantics]

It's not.

[ there's really nothing else to say about that. none of them chose to be here, but here they are. even the murderers (so far) haven't been given much choice here. it's difficult to hate them after they give their reasoning in the end. ]

You're going to live, Ion.