Week 2, Sunday Post-Execution - Waver

[fragileprophet]

[Well, it's been a weekend. Ion is safe, but his heart is still racing. The execution was a lot to process, and he's happy to be alive--happy Natsuo is alive, and he's going to be there for him later.

But first, right now, he has to get through the other parts. The guilt that he feels, the wrenching horror and disbelief that Sandalphon is gone. It feels like a cosmic slap in the face: this is how it feels to be on the other end of what he had been doing for everyone else. There's a feeling inside of him outside of abstract misery that he can't quite place, squirming in his stomach like a snake.

He finds a nook in the library to hide, his face buried against his knees. This is the land of the twinks.]

Comments

[londonstar]

[ as usual, waver visits the library. partially because he's drawn to the hundreds of books he can hide himself in, but also because he has an idea that he will be able to find either of the ions.

and, after some searching, he finds exactly who he's looking for. ]

Ion.

[ he kneels down, speaking in a low whisper. ]

May I accompany you?

[fragileprophet]

[Ion finds his tongue currently thick and useless in his mouth, so he nods his head weakly against his knees. Yes, please sit down, he'd like to say. He doesn't really want to be alone, or feel alone. It's just hard to be this way in front of anyone. But Waver already knows so much about him--Waver, his King's Man. If he'll let anyone in, it's him.]

[londonstar]

[ at ion's nod, waver nods back, sitting down next to him. it's awkward, considering his height, but (for once) he doesn't complain.

he stays silent, actually.

but, after a minute, he wraps an arm around ion's shoulder. his attempt at comfort. ]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[fragileprophet]

[Ion nods again, his body leaning quietly into Waver's. He's learning to appreciate all of these examples of physical affection. He never realized just how badly he needed them, before. It takes him a moment to be able to find anything to say. "Thank you" is both inappropriate and unnecessary. The gratitude goes without saying. So, after he gets his thoughts straight, he finally murmurs:]

He was crying. No matter what he said, he didn't want to die.

[londonstar]

He didn't have a choice.

[ he knows that very little he says will comfort ion. seeing something like that...who the hell is going to be okay after seeing their partner like that? ]

When the Crafters choose them, they don't have a choice but to obey. [ he closes his eyes, sighing. ] And we have no choice but to find the killers.

[fragileprophet]

I know.

[It doesn't make it any easier. His toes turn in toward one another, his whole body tensing.]

He didn't want anyone to feel regret for sending him to die, but...but...

[He was always, from the very beginning, doing everything in his power to save Ion. And Ion, doing the same thing, hadn't even noticed.]

I saw his memories...he spent his whole life just wishing somebody would see him. He was just like me. He felt so terribly, horribly alone.

[londonstar]

[ waver listens in silence, brows furrowed in a troubled expression. wishing for someone to acknowledge him...

that rings so painfully close to waver's heart, that it softens the hardened expression on his face. he thinks about his king, the first person to acknowledge him for the person he was.

he never thought about it until now, but waver is beginning to realize just how lucky he was to have him, even if only for a short while. ]

Then we must protect his memory. Respect it. Honor it. If we couldn't acknowledge him before, then let's do it now-- so at least his spirit can be at peace.

[fragileprophet]

[Ion wipes his face carefully, wishing he could stop crying. He didn't even used to know how to cry--those days weren't so long ago. Now that he understands sadness and grief, it's like he just can't stop grieving.]

Yes...you're right. I want to treasure him always.

[He knows nothing of what happens after a person dies. Ion pauses before he decides to ask something else.]

Do you think he really will be able to find peace where he's gone? I hope that's true. It has to be true.

[londonstar]

I hope so as well.

[ truth be told, waver doesn't know. he's seen spiritual entities fueled by negative emotions and unresolved problems. in the back of his head, he supposes that sandalphon and the other victims would count as those-- maybe they're haunting them as they speak.

and yet, waver hopes. he hopes that they have found peace...or at least that they will. ]

There's a prayer from back home that is said for the dead. It is said that prayers can help spirits pass on to better places, or to simply find peace for both them and ourselves. [ he glances at ion ] Would you like me to say it?

[fragileprophet]

Yes, please, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.

[For all the ways that religion has only served to cause suffering in his life...it comforts him. It always has.]