Fon Master Ion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fragileprophet) wrote2018-06-29 06:12 pm
fragileprophet) wrote2018-06-29 06:12 pm
Week 3, Friday Post-Investigation - Sanji
[Oh cool, great, more people are dead and there's smoke everywhere. Ion can't even make it into the kitchen, honestly. Even if the smoke is billowing out, he's in the doorway coughing, his weak lungs struggling against the foul smell. Gripping the wall, his legs bend, but he manages to keep himself held up.]
What happened? Who would've--
[This is horrible? THEY EAT FROM HERE?]
What happened? Who would've--
[This is horrible? THEY EAT FROM HERE?]
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Someone set the center counter on fire. It's out, but the smoke's gonna be there a while.
[Sanji's pissed. No two ways about it. But it's an anger that just sets a deep, dark frown in his expression rather than manifest into a fit.]
C'mon, neither of us need to be breathing that in.
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[No arguing and no apologies even, for once. Feeling rattled, he'll steer himself right toward the gardens. They're going to be here tomorrow, and he doesn't necessarily want to be in them more than necessary, but, fresh air. The freshest of air. He's more or less just going to assume that Sanji's still with him as he leans against the castle's outer wall, closing his eyes and breathing.
...but even then. What does he say? Where does he start?]
I should...go speak with him.
[Three guesses who he means.]
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[Sanji takes point next to Ion against the wall -- not breathing heavy at all, but that just makes him painfully aware of who is standing next to him. Immediately his mind buzzes with anxious questions.
For now, he shelves them, staring directly ahead.]
I don't know him as well as you, but he seems to... deal with his shit a little differently. Space might be a good thing, at least for a while.
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[He doesn’t know if he can say he knows him much at all, despite everything pointing toward that he should. It just feels...wrong. It all feels wrong. Ion lapses into silence for another moment.]
Are...you going to be okay?
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In honor of Monika's memory, Sanji refuses to sit here and smile and lie as if everything's alright with the world. The girl deserves more than that. So instead he reaches over and musses Ion's hair, fondly, as if thanking him for caring enough to ask.]
Eventually. I gotta, after all.
[Glancing at the sky]
There's still people here to take care of.
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That is true, yes.
[He feels the same way. There are people here who need help. Maybe it’s not help he can give, but he’s still intent on trying.]
But take care of yourself too, alright?
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... It's not necessarily answering that question, but it's more hopeful than what Sanji usually gives.]
Neh, if you're up for it, I got a question for you.
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[Honestly, Ion has learned that when people have questions for him it’s generally nothing good. But he still smiles, perfectly willing.]
Ask anything you’d like.
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It just grows sad]
Are you sick, too?
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Ah.
[He looks at the sky now, too.]
Yes. I suppose “prone to fainting” was a kind way to have been ambiguous about a chronic illness.
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Sanji stares quietly at the grass, until:]
Are you still alive, back on your world?
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[He feels like air is draining slowly out of him. This was something that he’d been hoping to keep hidden from Sanji, to avoid him the pain of knowing. But now, there isn’t really much point.]
My health was improving, but due to the will of someone in power, I’ve been unfortunately put into a situation that my health can’t recover from. I have...maybe another moment before my life ends.
[His hands clench against his robes.]
I’m dying.
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But to know that you're going to die the moment you step back home, is...
It hits him all at once -- the finality Monika's passing, knowing what Ion's fate is, that he never feels like he can help the people here. Grief burns behind his eyeballs, not as tears, but still making it difficult to see.
He rests his hand over his eyes, allowing the darkness to settle over his vision.]
... I'm sorry for asking you that. I just... had to be sure.
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[Ion takes a breath. His legs feel like led underneath him. He can’t even bring himself to look back over and see what kind of expression Sanji’s wearing.]
I wish it were different, but...this is just my fate. I never expected to live a long life, one way or another.
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... He's not going to say that, however. In Ion's case, if there is such a thing as that shitty concept, he's living it. A replica brought into the world for one purpose, and nearly stripped of his sense of self because of it.
-- It's why he blurts out the words before he can stop himself]
You shouldn't have to go back to that.
[...]
If there's a way for you to go somewhere else... another world-- [Another story.] You'd survive then, wouldn't you?
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[It takes him off guard more than Sanji's last question. He hadn't really...thought about it. Maybe that's ridiculous, but there it is.]
I don't know. Technically, I should be...I should be...
[Well, dying. He looks down at his hands.]
I took a deadly miasma into my body that was killing one of my friends, because I already knew I was dying and it was the only way to save her. Theoretically, I shouldn't be standing at all, but...assuming that it doesn't return to me as soon as this game ends then...I suppose I would. I have no real way of being sure.
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[Sanji's stare has already glided away, staring off to the front with his eyes narrowed in thought.]
Even better if this miasma shit is taken out of your body, right?
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[Ion looks like he's going to reply, but then his stance changes, and he just smiles instead. Honestly, he doesn't know how this works. Is it still inside of him, waiting? Is it gone? Would it even matter if he wasn't poisoned? He'd felt it even before then, the fonons that made up his body ripping apart, dissolving, vanishing and taking him with them.
Excruciating.
He thinks about the feeling of Luke's arms gripping him so tightly. He thinks about...]
If I didn't go back...I wonder what that would mean for the rest of them.
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... He also knows that Ion cares; Sanji's selfishness won't bring him peace. It takes effort, the muscles in his jaw obviously working to relax, but he swallows down the vitriol for the kid's sake.]
Life goes on regardless. [Picking his words carefully] If you know you won't be with them much longer, would you not going back at all have that big of an impact?
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[He's already saved Tear's life, after all. There's nothing else for him to die besides die. But it's like a fissure splits across his face, and he grips a hand over his heart. There's just, one thing, the only thing left. The only thing he can think about.]
Only that...I haven't told her how I feel.
1/2
Oh.]
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... Who is she?
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Her name is Anise...she's...
[She's so many things, all at once. A lot of things that he doesn't know just how to say, so he says what's simple.]
She's my Fon Master Guardian.
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[He assumes so, from the title Ion has given her]
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[Mohs. Grand Maestro Mohs. It always comes back to him.]
She was being forced to spy on me, and report my whereabouts and actions at all times. She didn't realize I knew...I knew the whole time. I didn't know how to help her, and now, because I'm dying...I know she has to think it's her fault.
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I can see how she'd think that.
[The crueler part of Sanji thinks that's the unfortunate penance of someone whose being manipulated. There's just. No salvation for them, is there?]
Do you think your words would reach her?
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[He wishes he knew. He feels like he should know. But at the same time...at the same time...these are thoughts and feelings that have always been beyond him.]
I hope so. I don't even know if I can say them. I don't know if I have enough time even for that much. I just...if I could have one thing, just for myself...
[His throat tightens.]
Have you ever thought that you could just accept anything that happened to you if you could only see someone's face one more time?
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I know the feeling.
[He knows the feeling well.
And he has no right to take that away from Ion, even if it results in his death.]
Who knows? Maybe if you go back, you'll get that one wish. There's no harm in hoping.
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Maybe.
[He doesn’t sound so convinced.]
The more time that passes, the less sure I feel.
[He accepted it before: that this was all he had left. Just that one moment. But now...now...he finds his thoughts wandering more and more. What if there was another world for him? Another future, another life? Can he even ask for both? How much is too much? How much is just a dream?]
...no harm in hoping.
[At least not yet.]
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Neh. Why don't you write her a letter?
[he's not sure where the idea comes from -- maybe all this talk of communicating with the dead has had an effect -- but it's the best idea he can come up with on his quest to lessen Ion's obvious distress.]
Maybe it'll never reach her, maybe it will... but it can help you sort out your own feelings.