[Her presence and her hand on his is warm and comforting. So much so, it makes him want to cry. But he blinks back the tears as he turns his hand over to touch their palms together. His voice is so small.]
I knew that I could handle it, so...I wasn't thinking about how it looked from the other side. But, after what Sandalphon said...about how this was all...
[That he'd come up with this plan to protect him. To be the only one who would end up dead...it breaks his heart.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Very frightened.
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[ a beat. her fingers intertwine with his. ]
For you.... or for Sandalphon, and Natsuo? Or all three?
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[He stays still for a long moment, and then he squeezes onto her hand.]
It's so hard to feel...alone.
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You aren't alone. They aren't either --- not if I have anything to say about it.
[ and she does, she has a lot to say about it. ]
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[He feels so terribly cold.]
I keep thinking, tomorrow, if...if it doesn't...
[If Natsuo doesn't come back. If Sandalphon's plan doesn't work. If he...has to die. Ion lowers his head.]
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[ she doesn't, she's praying for it, but she tries to sound as confident as she can to assure him. ]
And... we know your ability works, and so does mine. So.... so should Sandalphon's.
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[Except...]
It's just really hard not to think about the worst possible outcomes at a time like this, I suppose. I'm sorry about being negative.
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[ but she wants to be positive, for both their sakes. ] Okay! What can I do to help? What if get some tea or something?
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If...if you could just stay for awhile...that's all I need.
[He doesn't want to be alone.]
Just for a little while.
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[ gives his hand a little squeeze. ]
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[His voice hitches, and he sighs out a breath slowly, his brow furrowing.]
And...I'm sorry. For how much I've been worrying you and everyone else.
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Gosh, Celadon, how many times do I need to tell you not to apologize? It isn't your fault.
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[And there's the apology for an apology. He manages to catch himself this time, but he looks miserable in his embarrassment.]
I know...but I...I realized today how I was making everybody else feel, when I was putting myself in harm's way in order to help.
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[ by taking everyone's miasma :/ :/ :/ ]
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I knew that I could handle it, so...I wasn't thinking about how it looked from the other side. But, after what Sandalphon said...about how this was all...
[That he'd come up with this plan to protect him. To be the only one who would end up dead...it breaks his heart.]
It just hurts so badly.
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[ she's guilty of doing that herself, so she's just slightly a hypocrite. ]
He really cares about you.
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[He wasn't actually sure how much Sandalphon cared, so it only hurts more to find out just how much he did.]
I'll never be able to do anything to repay his kindness and care.
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[ with friendship!! ]