fragileprophet | Week 3, Monday

[it takes a moment to answer-- he doesn't sleep much at night, so he catches it where he can during the day-- but shirasu is still a light sleeper, and it's hard to tell if he'd even been disturbed when he opens the door.]

-ah, Ion. What can I help you with?

[Ion smiles at Shirasu as he opens the door. Whether or not he seems disturbed, he looks a little apologetic regardless.]

I hope this isn't a bad time. Are you alone? I was hoping to talk to you for a moment about something.

No, you're perfectly fine. Belph is out at the moment.

[he gestures for ion to enter, there. it's well kept, so there's plenty of space-- shirasu apparently ensures everything is kept stored somewhere.]

Sit wherever you'd like.

[some people like the floor ok he's not assuming]

[He'll find a nice chair and take a seat! It seems presumptuous to sit on the bed, and he's slow to get onto his feet when he's on the floor.]

Thank you.

[He waits until the door is closed again before speaking.]

Actually, I came to offer to heal your scars for you, if you'd like. I'm sorry that I didn't offer sooner.

[--that's certainly not what he'd expected, and his good eye widens just enough to be noticeable, for a moment.]

-no, I understand. It isn't something that hinders me; I wouldn't have expected you to.

[especially considering people Keep Getting Hurt here.]

Before I answer-- that wouldn't tire you or anything, would it? I would rather be prepared to help you in turn than to have you faint on me suddenly, or anything like that.

Oh, I won't faint!

[But he still looks sheepish. Yeah, there's a catch coming.]

The problem is just that I take any injury I heal onto my own body--that's what stopped me, before.

[And why he had so many mystery.png scars at the trial.]

The situation is a bit different now, though, so it wouldn't bother me at all!

I can hardly blame you for that; this isn't something I would ask anyone else to take.

[beyond the fact that it disfigured him-- it's a little personal, isn't it? it would be so strange for these scars to be on any other face.]

Not to sound unappreciative, but-- [he hesitates a moment, there.] I'm still not certain that's something I can ask of you now, even if you're offering.

...I see. That's okay, I understand.

[It's hard for him to take offense to basically anything.]

I've had to lie about what my ability allows me to do in order to get anyone to let me heal them at all, so I kind of expected that sort of response.

[He pauses.]

It's probably not my place to say, but I do know a second healer.

It's less your ability itself; if it were any other injury, I would accept.

[there's a pause on his end there, as well. with their numbers, it's not surprising that another would have a similar ability, but...]

If they're willing to speak, I might consider it. Truthfully, though... I know it must sound odd, but I don't know that I would choose to have it healed.

Really?

[That does surprise him. He can't imagine anyone wanting to live with such a cumbersome-looking injury.]

I'm sorry, then. I didn't realize I was being presumptuous.

[Ion pauses again, thoughtful.]

I should have thought about that a bit harder...a lot of people made very personal requests at the well, after all.

You have nothing to apologize for. I know well enough that I should take the opportunity.

[ion isn't wrong at all about it being personal, and for the most part shirasu has refused to say much about it. in this case, though-- maybe it's acceptable to say a little more, to a face he often sees twice.]

...but I've mentioned to a couple of others that I did, technically, have my wish granted. I think you're someone who will understand when I say that I asked to see someone in particular.

[they aren't twins like the kotarous, but he thinks ion can put it together faster than others, having someone identical of his own. there's still a certain common ground.]

That's why I can't accept seeing the same on someone else.

[As he listens, Ion's silent...and after a moment, his expression loses that perfectly-polite nature, and he smiles, soft and sad.]

Ah...I understand.

[He understands, though he can't relate. Understands how humans with the same "condition" as him have a close bond with one another. But, in his case, he'd be much happier to never have to look at his own face ever again.]

It doesn't hurt, for things to be this way?

It does, and it doesn't.

[that's an answer he has to consider more.]

It's something of a painful reminder, though at the same time... it feels like it might be a way in which he is still with me here. A foolish sentiment, I know, but-- perhaps in this way we remain whole.

[his reflection speaking to him absolutely did not help this problem.]

[Shirasu honey that's extremely concerning, I say, as the reason he is having this problem. But Ion nods along, only looking sadder.]

It's hard on anyone to feel that they're missing someone who's deeply important to them. I can only imagine what you must be feeling.

[He looks down at his lap.]

Thank you for telling me about him.

There are few here that I could tell. I'd appreciate if that remained between us.

[not that ion seems like the type to share things thoughtlessly, but always worth saying.]

If I may ask something personal... are the two of you important to each other, as well? I know you can't be twins, but...

[he's wondered, honestly, ever since ion mentioned they had the same role.]

Don't worry, it won't leave this room.

[He's absolutely only bad at keeping his own secrets. Everyone else doesn't have to worry.]

I think...

[He really has to consider the question, his brow furrowing.]

It would depend on what you mean, when you say important. Certainly, we are...but possibly for very different reasons. I wouldn't exist without him, and as for him, ah...I don't know what he'd have to say about me. Nothing kind, I'm sure.

You truly think so?

[that's-- strange to consider, for him. it seems somehow wrong for someone to feel that way about their own counterpart.]

--That does get close to what I meant, though. Perhaps it would have been simpler to ask whether having him here is something you can take comfort in, or if things are different for the two of you.

Unfortunately, I do.

[Pain flashes across his face, but he smooths his countenance back over once more.]

Our circumstances are complicated, and in actuality I hardly know him at all. [He glances at his hands. His hands.] You're trusting me with a piece of your history, so I'll trust you with this, as well: I haven't admitted this to anyone, but he actually frightens me deeply.

-and yet you don't seem to avoid him, from what I've seen. Because of your circumstances, or simply because it's difficult to do so?

[there's definitely some sympathy, there, a touch of concern. this isn't something he can identify with, personally, but given the ties those two seem to have-- it's a thing he'd like to understand.]

Do you believe he knows?

[Ion has to think about both questions. Honestly, he's not really sure. In a way, he supposes he just gravitates toward him. The two Ions are very separate, very different individuals...but at the same time, the same. They share more than just the same face.]

I think it's likely he does. We've had trouble opening up to one another.

[He feels nervous just talking about it at all. It's not that he's stayed particularly shy about his past, but about the other Ion...well, he doesn't feel like it's his place to say anything that could skew the opinion of others toward him. Especially not when the circumstances are what they are.]

I want to get to know him. I don't want to push him away just because of a complicated past.

I can't say I disagree with the sentiment, though that might just be my personal bias. Still... I think it all depends on why he frightens you.

[another brief pause, there.]

Is it because he's someone you don't know well, despite your similarities, or is it something else? You don't have to answer aloud, but-- if it's simply a fear of what you don't yet know, it may be worth trying to find out more.

But if something else tells you that you should be afraid, even if you don't understand what or why... then listen. You should trust that sort of feeling.

...you think so?

[His voice becomes small, and then hushes altogether. Maybe a part of it, he wants to argue to himself, is really just that they haven't had the chance to properly talk. But it's more than that, it's definitely more. It's the way that his stomach churns whenever someone asks them a question together, and he feels a sense of danger in saying the wrong thing. It's the reason he was ever brought into this world, and what happened to the others like him. It's his eyes.

Ion's throat is tight.

But he slaps his smile back on.]

Thank you for the advice--I really appreciate it. Though I'm embarrassed to come here to help and be the one who ended up being helped, in the end.

Those feelings are very rarely wrong.

[he has an idea, even if he doesn't know the details of it. a passing fear is one thing, but people don't describe themselves as deeply frightened unless it's something more.

he gives ion a small smile of his own in response, though. it's small, but softens his features just slightly, in a way that never happened with those polite smiles of his.]

Should you need anything else, you're welcome to find me, even if all you need is to not be alone.

[a thoughtful hum, and then he adds slowly, carefully considering his words-]

Ah, and if you ever feel uncomfortable being around someone alone... tell me before you go, and I will try to see to it that you have help. I'm afraid I can't explain further than that.

[it would be mutually beneficial, really. it's a way to try to gather more information.

-but something about that small voice and his fear of his own counterpart just doesn't sit right with shirasu. when he says 'someone', mostly he means the other ion.]

[Ion's smile starts to lose its panicked, spooked-deer edge at Shirasu's words. He stands, picking his staff back up from where he leaned it beside him.]

I'll keep that in mind, thank you. I can't offer too much myself aside from my healing, but if you or anyone else you know finds themselves with another injury, I'm happy to assist in any way that I can!

[He should probably ask...questions...about that help but...Shirasu said he couldn't explain, so it would be rude to ask?]

[ion honey you really should ask questions? but shirasu appreciates that he doesn't, and stands when ion does so that he can see him out.]

I'll remember it-- and thank you for offering, Ion.

[after a brief pause--]

You mentioned knowing another healer, didn't you? If they don't have the same drawback you do, and they're willing to consider it... I would appreciate if you could find out.

[maybe he'd be able to come to his senses about it if it doesn't mean giving those scars to someone else, he thinks.]

Week 3, Monday - Shirasu

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject