fragileprophet | Week 2, Tuesday

Fool. Taking more than you can handle will probably end up killing you.

[ but waver’s expression isn’t angry, simply concerned... and a little guilty. ]

I can heal you, to an extent. What that extent is, I’m not sure— you might still need bed rest after this. But I’ll do my best.

[Even though it isn't spoken unkindly, Ion still winces at the admonishment. He knows. He knows, doesn't he? Everyone he's talked to about his power...everyone he's healed has told him to stop. He has to stop. But he didn't stop. He couldn't make himself stop.]

I just wanted to help. I'm sorry.

[The words are weak and sad--they'd probably sound that way even if he wasn't feeling so ill. His eyes flicker away, and he gestures to one of his arms.]

This is the worst one.

[Underneath his sleeve is a bandaged gash, the dressings still quite red. Obviously, he's been losing a good amount of blood. More than that, the massive inflammation of his shoulder suggests a dislocated shoulder. He should be in extraordinary pain, for all his softly spoken words.]

[ waver can’t help but grit his teeth upon seeing the bloodied bandage; mostly anger but some fear as well.

but he remains composed, deciding to focus on keeping ion alert. ]

Tell me about your role, Ion. [ while he talks, waver decides to begin undressing the wound. ah, that looks terrible. with steady hands, waver begins to heal it. ] I doubt it was to heal everyone that comes with an injury.

[It feels strange just to come right out with it after so many people have warned him not to be so trusting. But he's feverish and he hates to lie--he just doesn't care. If Waver wants to know, he gets to know. He can't keep his gaze on Waver's work, but he keeps his eyes open.]

No...not everyone. I just see people who are hurting and I can't stop until I do something about it. That's just the way I've always been.

[He pauses, taking a few breaths.]

I can heal others, but any injury I heal I take for myself. My objective...he must have told you that as well. I am meant to die--but it's more specific than that. I must die in the arms of another, having been unable to be...put back together again, as it were.

[ waver feels his heart stop for a second, and it’s difficult to not let that fear show on his expression. yes, it might just be as thw mursery rhyme— ion may just die here, unable to be put back together again by him. ion may as well have been cursed to death the moment that he stepped through that door.

but he won’t stop. the chance of ion being healed is still there, and as long as it is, then waver won’t give up. ]

What a stupid objective. [ he scoffs, continuing to heal the gash on ion until he sees that he can no longer make any progress. he moves on to the dislocated shoulder, focusing his attention on healing as much as he can. ] As long as I’m around to assist you, then such a thing will not occur.

I don't think it's stupid.

[It's a quiet admission. He doesn't like to talk about his objective--Akechi's the only one he'd told. For all the people who found out about his healing, he always skirted around the issue of his objective, letting them believe the two were one and the same.]

I would rather die than become a killer.

[Maybe he shouldn't admit that so readily, but the thought doesn't occur to him to keep it hidden inside of him like a dirty, shameful secret.]

Ah.

[ at first, waver is shocked over ion’s defiant response. he never thought that the soft-spoken boy would be able to say something like that, and the lord himself can’t find it in him to yell at him the same way he yells at natsuo. it worries and, at the same time, relieves him to hear this.

so he simply continues to heal in silence. he’d like to ask why, but he can make a few guesses— it’s just hard to swallow. ]

Then let us hope that you do not have to die in the first place.

[The defiance almost seems to trouble himself; his brow furrows...but it's too late to just apologize and say nevermind. What would be the point of that, anyway? Still, as Waver knits his broken body back together, Ion begins to feel at least a bit more relaxed. Exhausted, but not so exhausted that he feels on the verge of slipping into a deep and dire unconsciousness.]

...I'll hope for that, too. I don't want to let anyone down.

[He made so many promises--promises that were already splintering apart with each slash to his body.]

Edited 2018-06-20 11:55 (UTC)

You’ve already taken more damage than anyone should.

[ he understands the boy’s selflessness— a type of altruism so high that it verges on self-destruction. and he thinks that, maybe, that is the case with ion. to be in such close proximity to his double... could it be making the boy think that he is disposable?

such a thought troubles the lord. if that is the case, he has to help him think differently. ]

At this point, I believe you’ve made many people proud. You deserve to rest, if just for a moment.

I don't mind; it doesn't hurt.

[His mouth twists, his eyes flashing at the suggestion of pride. He thinks about how he got this injury, just earlier tonight. He'd sworn up and down so many times that if he insisted on healing a person, he'd warn them beforehand what effects it would have on his own body. But, once again, fearing that he'd be pushed away and not allowed to help, he acted impulsively. He let Varian believe it would be fine. That there were no catches.

And how upset he'd made Varian...his friend. Imagining the look on his face, the things he'd said, he feels just so ashamed. But what can he say, when Waver is doing all of this? He can't say how he's afraid of anyone raising their voices at him even one more time, out of concern or otherwise. Ion pushes through a knot in his throat.]

You're really so kind. I don't know how to thank you.

Tch. Do you think I’m blind?

[ waver clicks his tongue, clearly having seen through ion. it’s not the first time he’s seen a boy ready to fall apart and just barely holding himself together and he doubts it will be the last. each time it’s just as frustrating; what do they think to gain from this? ]

I don’t know what kind of childhood you had, if any. However, a boy like you should not shoulder the weight of everyone’s injuries and force themselves to smile. If I can heal people as well, then I will shoulder that responsibility.

I'm sorry.

[And he is, as demeaning as his apologies are, he just doesn't know how else to respond.]

I just don't have anything else that I can do. Without this power, I'm...

[Useless. Worthless.]

You're what? Useless? Replaceable? [ haha now this is something waver understands. sorry ion, you can't even keep that a secret.

he frowns, shaking his head. ]

That is untrue. Every person has some merit. For their friends, their family, for themselves, even. You know when you're useless? When you're dead. [ for less than a second, there's a pained look on waver's expression, the memory of his king's final order coming back to him.

live on, waver.

what a troublesome order. even now, waver has to continue following it-- as his retainer. ]

So don't give up yet. You have a whole life ahead of you.

[It happens again. This isn't the first time. He can't stand that he's become so transparent. The words are so important to him and so meaningful but he just laughs bitterly at the idea. The sound of his own voice makes him wince. Tensing, Ion grips his chest with the hand of his uninjured arm.]

I wish that were true...I really wish...

[He slams his eyes shut before he can cry, willing the tears back.]

But I'm already dead.

[ again, waver is no good when it comes to comforting others. even when ion tears up, admitting that he is already dead, he doesn't do much more other than sigh. ]

So what? You're not dead now. As long as your heart beats, you're still alive. [ he huffs ] And I will make sure that heart beats for as long as possible.

[Ion can think of so many different things to say. That the whole point of his life is to be used and then thrown away. That saving him is a waste of his time and energy. That he doesn’t deserve all these extra moments. Extra days. He’s setting everyone up to hurt because of every decision he makes here. That each new friend he makes just hurts even more, because he knows that dying is his only option.

But for once, he tells the truth. A softly spoken secret that he’s never told a soul:]

I don’t want to die.

[ finally. the confession pulls an exhausted smile out of waver, who realizes in the back of his head that he's probably healed ion as much as his gift allowed him to.

it's far more than his third-rate magic would have allowed him to. ]

There you go. It's better to be honest with yourself. [ he sighs ] Then I'll do my best so that doesn't happen. So you can live as long as possible.

[Ion nods weakly, not having the words to express how he feels. How helpless and hopeless he still feels, even despite the promise or how much it means. So he covers his face with his arm and just for a moment, between the two of them, lets himself cry. He lets himself forget those fake, painful, sad smiles.]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[The healed arm has a nasty looking scar where the gash was, and his shoulder seems slightly out of place--but it's all healed. That's all that matters.]

It's nothing.

[ he sighs, sitting at the edge of the bed. he doesn't want to leave just yet, if only to make sure that ion will stay alright, both physically and mentally. ]

You may always come to me when you need help.

Alright.

[As Ion's tears finally ebb and a wash of calm settles over him, Ion takes a deep breath.]

Actually, I need a bit more help right now, if you don't mind.

[It's a bit awkward, but he sits himself up so he can pull his robe up over his head. There are a few various injuries he's sporting--but most of them are small. It's the bound, bloody gash in his side that's notably concerning. He'd been able to hide that one more easily with layers, but it's clear that it's just as fresh as the one on his arm that was just healed.

No wonder he was so faint.]

Edited 2018-06-22 00:19 (UTC)

[ how the fuck are you smiling with that kind of wound, is what waver almost yells out. but he doesn't hold back the way that he frowns, teeth gritting upon seeing that. ]

Damn it, how'd the hell did you get that?

[ however, he's not going to wait for an answer. he'll get onto healing that immediately. ]

[How, indeed. He really doesn't seem like he's experiencing any discomfort outside of dizziness.]

Ah...it seems several people got into trouble today going outside the castle. They all looked so bad, I couldn't decide on just one.

[So, the solution: nearly kill himself.]

I thought because it didn't hurt it wouldn't matter, but I really did try to do too much.

You absolutely did.

[ he groans in frustration, but continues healing him. ]

If you ever see anything of that nature, then tell me. If I can heal them to an extent, then the damage you'd receive would be less.

But if I can heal them fully...

[He knows before he finishes his sentence that this is absolutely not what Waver wants to hear nor is it the point, and yet.]

Then I don't mind taking the extra damage left over when you heal me afterward!

Did you not listen to a word that I said?!

[ nope ion, that is definitely not what waver wants to hear. ]

You need to stop treating yourself like something disposable!

[Ion's practically pouting without realizing.]

But...

[It's a hard mentality to shake.]

It's just that everyone can do so much more good than I can, so...

You're a child. There's so many things that you can still do, even in this place.

[ he rolls his eyes. ]

Feeling useless is something that I'm not a stranger to. Once, I was even willing to die for some sort of acknowledgement. And you know what? It's not necessary. And don't even try to tell me that it's different because you've already died once, because I'll find a way to stop that from happening again.

...I'm sorry.

[He's not sure what else to say. As Waver's healing reaches its peak ability, Ion is left with a brutal looking, but no longer damaging, scar where the wound once was. He feels...guilty.]

Then I...I'll try to find what that is, that I can do.

[ once waver recognizes that he's reached his limit, he breathes a sigh, pulling his hands away. ]

Your kindness is an ability on its own. However, you must learn the difference between kindness and nearly dying for others. [ he pauses for a moment, and then: ] It would be sad to see potential talent go so soon.

Talent?

[Ion smiles sadly to himself. He wonders what that means. He wonders what he could do, ever, outside of what he’s been expected in the capacity of the Fon Master.]

Someone told me something similar once before...that I could make a brighter future just with my smile. I never expected to hear such a thing a second time.

Yes...kindness can go a long way in some situations. In others, not so much. [ he huffs. the last thing he wants is for ion to get the wrong idea, especially in this place. ] Always have a degree of caution with when you give your kindness to a stranger, but never diminish it.

Week 2, Tuesday — Waver

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slams back into this

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